Long before the coronavirus pandemic changed our lives, it was said by some that we were living through another epidemic: one of loneliness. Pre-2020, data showed that approximately 20% of adults — or 1 in 5 — in the United States said they “always or often” felt lonely or socially isolated. A new survey from this August showed that numbers have only gone up: 28% of adults reported feeling lonely, and, unsurprisingly in this era of social distancing, 41% of adults have reported feeling socially isolated.
According to the National Institute for Health Care Management Foundation, the health effects on the lonely and isolated can be severe, including a greatly increased risk of heart disease and dementia. One statistic declares that isolation is as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
We know too well that feelings of loneliness can be exacerbated by the holiday season, which, while joyous for many, can be a time of pain for others. This year, as we are forced, out of love for our neighbor, to be separated from the usual merriment and festivities that go along with Christmas, most of us are feeling the loss of community in one way or another. We are disconnected from family, friends and the events that may normally be central to our lives during this season. We also may be disconnected from our parishes or from the Church as a whole.
In response to these challenges, we have one simple suggestion for you this Christmas: Write a letter by hand to someone you think might be lonely or feeling separated from family, friends or community of any kind. Maybe it’s a neighbor who usually comes to your Christmas party. Or someone who has lost a spouse, or a child or a parent in recent months. Or an older couple who would normally be spending Christmas with grandchildren. Or … fill in the blank. Your heart knows who in your life needs to hear from you. Take your time. Fill it with life, color, detail and love. While you could send a text or an email, or place a video call or a regular old phone call, a physical letter gives longevity to your outreach. It is something tangible to read again and again, and it brings with it a personal sacrifice of time and effort on your behalf. As you write, pray for the person to whom the letter is addressed: that he or she may be uplifted by your words and feel a sense of connection not only to you, but to Jesus Christ, the one who never leaves us alone. Let this small action be your gift to someone you think may be struggling this season.
For those who live alone or who feel isolated that may be reading this, we offer you these words of consolation from Thomas à Kempis in his spiritual masterpiece “Imitation of Christ”: “You cannot live well without a friend, and if Jesus be not your friend above all else, you will be very sad and desolate. Thus, you are acting foolishly if you trust or rejoice in any other. Choose the opposition of the whole world rather than offend Jesus. Of all those who are dear to you, let Him be your special love. Let all things be loved for the sake of Jesus, but Jesus for His own sake.”
No matter how alone we may feel, we always have the friendship of Jesus Christ to which to turn and into which to place our trust. He is the best listener, the best confidant, the best giver of advice. Like all those who truly love us, he wants only our good — to be people of virtue and faith who desire to live forever with the Father in heaven. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. We never need to be isolated from him, if we so choose it.
At Christmastime, we celebrate the incarnation of Jesus, who entered into the world in the most humble of ways to save us from our sins. By reaching out to one another this season, we can be like the angels on that first Christmas, offering good tidings of great joy to all people — especially those who find themselves alone.
Our Sunday Visitor Editorial Board: Gretchen R. Crowe, Scott P. Richert, Scott Warden, York Young
